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DISCLAIMER: All stories featured are 100% fabricated using the best fabric softener available for $1.50. If you take anything written here seriously, you're officially dumber than the person coming up with them.
LATEST HEADLIES
6-Year-Old Children Still Coping With Shocking Realization That Ron Paul Isn't Real
Ann Coulter Whips it Out, Declares Hers is Bigger Than Obama's
13-Year-Old Daughter of Trillionaire Business Tycoon Kidnaps Herself, Currently Holding Herself for Ransome
Famous Pop Singer Comes Out of Closet to the Shock of Absolutely Nobody
Antonio "Minotouro" Nogueira Defeats Rashad Evans, Becomes New Undisputed Champion of Pattycake
Governor Sam Brownback Declares War on the State of Kansas
Scientists Baffled By the Discovery of the Ocean NOT Having Unlimitted Fish
Obama Reveals Plan to Combat Iran: Recrute a Team of Teenagers with Attitude!
HEADLIES FROM 2012
Derkaderkastani Dictator Unable to Comprehend Satire, Believes Hulk Hogan Actually Will Ride Into His Land On Magical Unicorn to Rape Him After Reading Idiot News Network Article
Mitt Romney Confesses to Sabotaging His Own Presidential Campaign
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Reaches Landmark Agreement With Colony of Obnoxious Oompa-Loompas
Ghost of Steve Jobbs Sues Every Dr. Light Capsule in Existance for Plagiarizing His Designs
Vice Presidential Candidate Paul Ryan Convinces Millions of Rage Against the Machine Fans to Take Up Serj Tankian Fandom Instead
The Eric Andre Show Declared "The Funniest Thing Since The Black Death"
World Wrestling Entertainment Appologizes For Unwarranted Use of Stephanie McMahon On Their Audience
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Responds to Latest U.N. Sanctions By Mooning Them
$975,000 of Research Determines Lions Hate Being Poked With Sticks
Intensive Surgery Reveals that Al Gore is Actually Human-Sized Puppet Operated By Super Intelligent House Cat
Marvel's The Avengers Film Surpasses Sexual Intercourse as Leading Cause of Orgasms
Identity of Jigoku Shojo Discovered to be Mara Wilson
Republican Party Forfeits 2012 Election After Realizing Mitt Romney is the Best They Could Come Up With
FlashBack Virus Responsible for Reducing Level of Apple Related Smug Out Put
Michael Bay Arrested for Crimes Against Film Making
Rush Limbaugh Ceases His War on the Female Gender
Keanu Reeves Takes up Stand Up Comedy, Goes on Tour as Jeff Dunham's Latest Ventrilloquist Dummy
Jersey Shore Cast Revealed to be Wandering Troop of Oompa-Loompas
Idiot News Network Staff Misunderstand SOPA Protests and Cover Office Computer Monitors with Whiteout
Ron Paul Confesses to Crippling Yu-Gi-Oh Obsession
HEADLIES FROM 2011
G8 Challenges NATO to a Fight on the Playground After School
New Incurable Brain Disease Named After Seth MacFarlane
Brock Lesner VS Brock Lesner Set for Next UFC Event
American Football Player Peytin Manning Tests Positive for Gamma Radiation
HUMAN CENTiPAD v2 Prototype Stolen By Random Fucktard After it was Left at a Random Bar
Aging Metal Band Declared Sellouts for Getting a Haircut
Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, and Justin Beber Proud to Become World's First Ever "Popstar Centipede"
Joe Biden Stuffed Into Cardboard Box and Shipped Off to Abudabi
Christina Aguilera Put On Trial For the Vicious Murder of the American National Anthem.
Britney Spears Still Unaware Her Fifteen Minutes of Fame Ended Years Ago
Lebron James of The Miami Heat Quits Basketball in Order to Become WWE's Next Breakout Diva
Apple Insists Tracking Software is for Their Customers' Own Good
Mixed Martial Artist Lyoto Machida Proclaimed to be "The Dragon Reborn"